HOW TO MAKE TIME FOR SELF-CARE WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS
Moms, I get it. We’re busy….really busy! Like, I’m busy and I don’t even have my kids in any extracurricular activities. No dance lessons, no karate, no nothing! And I’m still busy! Some nights it’s 9pm and I’ve just finished cleaning the kitchen, haven’t showered all day and worked a full 8-5 day job….This is why it’s so important to make time for yourself. You might be wondering how to make time for self-care when you have kids. Well let me tell you, it’s possible. I promise!
HOW TO MAKE TIME FOR SELF-CARE
First of all, you have to realize how valuable and worthy you are. Being a mother doesn’t mean you have to be a martyr. You don’t have to go without and run yourself ragged so your kids can have everything they want.
I’m not talking about being selfish. I’m not saying we shouldn’t take care of our kids. What I am saying is simple: taking care of ourselves is JUST as important as taking care of our families.
You know what it feels like to not take care of yourself. When you are stretched too thin…you feel irritable, unhappy, depressed even. Your family suffers and you feel guilty.
So right now I want you to acknowledge the fact that it’s okay to make and take time for yourself.
I was raised by the hardest working woman I know. My mom has always worked full time and raised 5 of us girls. What I see now looking back is that she didn’t spend a lot of money on herself. She didn’t buy herself fashionable clothing, she didn’t go on trips, she didn’t get her hair or nails done regularly.
I grew up thinking it was normal to wear yourself out for your family. I grew up holding on to so much stress because I thought that’s what moms do.
Thankfully now, as a mom of three, I know better. And so does my own mom – she takes more time for herself now that all of her kids are grown up. (But, I wish she would have taken more time for self-care back then!)
I realized how happy, confident and refreshed I would feel after taking “me” time. I realized my family would not fall apart if I wasn’t there to manage their day! And I realized I didn’t have to feel guilty about wanting time for my own self-care.
So let’s start with step one…
PLAN THE TIME FOR YOUR SELF-CARE
At the beginning of each month I look at my planner and I schedule two things. One is my monthly pedicure, I try to get a pedi at the beginning of each month. And I also schedule a blogging meet-up with a friend.
We meet once a month to keep each other accountable and usually we’re meeting in beautiful coffee shops – which I love!
I also make Wednesday nights my wine and bubble bath nights. On Wednesday after the kids are in bed I’ll pour a glass of wine, grab a book or a movie on my phone and soak in the tub for the ultimate weekly self-care!
I love this little ritual because my kids are already in bed and I don’t have to worry about being interrupted. I feel so relaxed after my Wednesday self-care nights and I’m ready to take on the rest of the week!
If you are not used to taking time for yourself I get it. I was in your shoes before. Just do it though- get your spouse on board with your self-care plans. And encourage your spouse to get their own self-care days in too!
My husband is not bothered by me taking time for myself. He knows how important it is for me to feel refreshed and happy! And I encourage him to take time for his self-care needs too.
GET YOUR FAMILY ON BOARD
So you’ve got your selfcare plan written in your calendar….what’s next? Prepping your family! You have to remind your husband and kids about your self-care needs and your plan.
Do some prep work. By this I mean things like:
- Cooking an extra dinner 1-2 nights a week. I do this so I only have to reheat dinner on my Wednesday self-care nights. This makes cooking time faster, kitchen clean up easier and me less stressed!
- If your self-care plans include meeting up with your friends make sure to send out a reminder and confirm everyone is still up for the plan.
- If your self-care plans require you need some extra money (like my monthly pedicures) make sure you are budgeting that in.
- Set up babysitters. If you don’t know anyone near you, join a mom group and ask around, offer to trade with other moms you know or get on Care.com. It’s so important for you to get that self-care time so finding a reliable sitter is a must!
I promise once you get used to taking time for yourself you’ll see how worth it self-care is. Making the time for self-care isn’t difficult, but letting go of the guilt associated with doing something for yourself might be.
So take a deep breath, realize that you have to take care of yourself and nurture your own soul before you can take on anyone else. I hope this post has encouraged you to make time for your self-care needs.