2020 Breaking Moms? Making Us Stronger?
I’ve always been a working mom. I went back to work 6 weeks after I had my first child. Without me working, we wouldn’t have made it.
When I was in nursing school I worked 5 days a week and then went to school the other 2 days. As a single mom everything fell on me. I had to do it all. You would think I would look back on that time and see that as the “hard” days.
Spoiler alert – they were not the hard days. Those days when I was exhausted but pushing through as a single mom were tough, don’t get me wrong. But they weren’t the hardest days.
Living in 2020…
I’ve lived the hardest days this year as a working mom/virtual mom-teacher/cook/meal-prepper/grocery deliverer/wife/housekeeper/chef/EVERY OTHER ROLE US MOMS HAVE.
The Covid 19 Pandemic added an extra layer of stress topped with a sprinkle of anxiety to overworked moms everywhere. Then virtual learning happened.
I lost my shit. I cried so much in May because I was sure my 1st grader would fail. She refused to do any of the online work and getting her to do homework was like asking her to clean her room.
I went through the summer a little bit happier (because no virtual school) and also depressed enough to reach out to my doctor for antidepressants.
By August with no real back to school plans announced, no end to the kids at home while I work, no end to the mess and the fighting and constant to-do’s on my list, I burned out and crashed hard.
I had a meltdown. I didn’t want to talk to my husband or my kids. I stayed in my bedroom as much as possible. I had hit the 2020 Moms Do Every Effing Thing bottom.
And I know other moms were right there with me. Moms are burned out. Moms are sick of working all day and cooking and cleaning and feeling under-appreciated. Moms are sick of being the only ones who see the trash needs to go out, the lawn needs to be mowed, the toilet needs to be scrubbed.
Working moms are busy AF with work + kids + cleaning + cooking + managing finances + anything else that arises as well as still being stressed AF about the damn pandemic.
The moms I know are exhausted, depressed, tired of being home with the kids and at the same time grateful to have their kids home safe. These moms are pissed when their husband’s don’t understand that helping out around the house is more than doing 1 load of laundry.
The husband’s don’t have to put themselves on mute to yell at the kids during a meeting. They don’t have to worry about how low their productivity is at work now that the kids are home full time. They don’t have to stop working multiple times a day to make meals, clean messes, referee fights or log into Google classrooms.
2020 is breaking moms? Making us stronger? I don’t know.
What I do know is this: working moms needs some help and encouragement.
Have a co-worker who is a working mom? Tell her she’s doing a great job.
You have a mom who works and you live with her? Great, pick up after yourself!
Married to a working mom? Step it up buddy! Take over chores, cooking, car maintenance as much shit as possible.
Have a friend who is a working mom? Encourage her. Message her. Check in on her. Send her funny memes. Tell her she’s amazing. Be there when she needs to vent.
Let’s all remember there are only so many days us moms can run on empty. For some, there isn’t even fumes left to keep her going.
Let’s be there for these moms. Let’s show them they’re not alone. Let’s stop touting moms as superhuman and instead take care of their very human needs first.